KNOW YOURSELF || HOW TO KNOW YOURSELF
Know Yourself
Self-awareness is the ability to
honestly observe yourself, understand why you do what you do, and begin to see
how this could affect your interactions with self and others. By understanding
and knowing yourself, you can choose to change your mindset and ways of
behaving. Today the focus is on your history, our history for Black History
Month.
Who we are is central to everything.
Self-awareness and knowing your history is important in regards to knowing
yourself. What does the past have to do with now? the answer is
EVERYTHING. The past has an impact on our present and future through traditions
handed down, our culture, music and through cellular memory, meaning genetic
information lives within our veins.
Know Yourself
The Benefits of
Self-Knowledge
Maybe it’s obvious, but here in a
nutshell are a few reasons why you might want to know your own nature:
· Happiness You will be happier when you can
express who you are. Expressing your desires will make it more likely that you
get what you want.
·
Less
inner conflict. When your outside actions are in
accordance with your inside feelings and values, you will experience less inner
conflict.
·
Better decision making When you know
yourself, you are able to make better choices about everything, from small
decisions like which sweater you’ll buy to big decisions like which partner
you’ll spend your life with. You'll have guidelines you can apply to solve
life’s varied problems.
·
Self-control When you know
yourself, you understand what motivates you to resist bad habits and develop
good ones. You'll have the insight to know which values and goals activate your
willpower.
·
Resistance
to social pressure. When you are grounded in your
values and preferences, you are less likely to say “yes” when you want to say
“no.”
·
Tolerance
and understanding of others. Your
awareness of your own foibles and struggles can help you empathize with others.
·
Vitality
and pleasure. Being who you truly are helps you
feel more alive and makes your experience of life richer, larger, and more
exciting.
Now that you are convinced that
self-knowledge is worth having (not that you needed convincing!), we’ll move on
to those "VITAL Signs" of self-knowledge.
V = Values
“Values"—such as “helping
others,” “being creative,” “health,” “financial security,” and so on—are guides
to decision-making and motivators for goals. Research shows that just thinking
or writing about your values can make it more likely that you take healthy
actions. The motivation provided by worthwhile values
can also keep you going even when you are tired, as shown in many psychology
experiments. If you want to self-motivate, know your values!
I = Interests
“Interests” include your passions,
hobbies, and anything that draws your attention over a sustained period of
time. To figure out your interests, ask yourself these questions: What do you
pay attention to? What are you curious about? What concerns you? The focused
mental state of being interested in something makes life vivid and may give you
clues to your deepest passions.
Many people have built a career around a deep interest in
something. For example, a friend of mine broke his leg when he was 11 years old
and was so fascinated by the emergency room that he decided to become an
emergency physician.
T = Temperament
“Temperament” describes your inborn
preferences. Do you restore your energy from being alone or from being with people ? Are you a planner or
go-with-the-flow type of person? Do you make decisions more on the basis of feelings
or thoughts and facts? Do you prefer details or big Ideas? Knowing the answers
to temperament questions like these could help you gravitate toward situations
in which you could flourish and avoid situations in which you could wilt.
In the 60s, spontaneity was valued
over planning. I tried hard to go with the flow, but it seemed to me that I
wasted a lot of time that way. Going against the grain of my own personality turned out to be a daunting
task that wasn’t really worth it.
A = Around-the-Clock Activities
The “around-the-clock” category
refers to when you like to do things—your biorhythms Are you a morning person or a night
person, for example? At what time of day does your energy peak? If you schedule
activities when you are at your best, you are respecting your innate biology.
As I look back on my life, I realize I’ve been a morning person since birth.
Those fun sleepovers with girlfriends? I loved being included, but I
didn’t like staying up late.
One joy of my adult life has been
finding a partner with biorhythms like mine. We wake up early and go to bed
early; we both get snappy unless we eat three square meals a day. We hate
brunch. While the idea of biorhythm preferences may sound trivial compared to
lofty qualities of the self like “values,” your daily life is more pleasant
when you are in sync with your biology. In every area, it’s easier to enjoy
life when you don’t waste energy pretending to be someone you aren’t.
L = Life Mission and Meaningful
Goals
“What have been the most meaningful
events of your life?” This was a question I liked to ask when students would
see me for career counseling at
the community college where I worked. One woman of about 40 years old got
teary-eyed as she tried to answer. “Recently,” she told me, “I found it
incredibly meaningful to care for my aging father as he declined and went into
hospice. I was able to be there and hold his hand when he died.” As we talked
about the difficulties and rewards of her father’s last days, she had an “aha” moment
and realized she wanted to become a hospice nurse. (She accomplished her goal
and was one of the leaders of her class.)
Ask yourself the same question: “What
have been the most meaningful events of your life?” You may discover clues to
your hidden identity, to your career, and to life satisfaction.
S = Strengths
"Strengths" can include not
only abilities, skills, and talents, but also character strengths such as
loyalty, respect for others, love of learning, emotional intelligence, fairness, and more. Knowing
your strengths is one of the foundations of self-confidence not being able to
acknowledge your own superpowers could put you on the path to low self-esteem Become a person who “takes in the
good,” listening for compliments and noticing skills that could be clues to
your strengths. Here's an example: An acquaintance tells you that she loves the
soothing sound of your voice. What could you do with that knowledge? Likewise,
knowing your weaknesses can help you be honest with yourself and others about
what you are not good at. You might decide either to work on those weaknesses
or try to make them a smaller part of your personal or professional life.
Know Yourself
Being True to You
Even if you know your "VITAL
Signs," it’s hard to remain true to yourself because you are constantly
changing and because society’s values often conflict with your own.
For all of us, being yourself sounds
easier than it actually is. But there are a few signposts. When you’ve made a
discovery about one of your "VITAL Signs," you’ll feel a sense of
excitement. Acting on self-knowledge will give you energy and save you energy.
You’ll feel freer and stronger because you no longer conform to how you “should” feel,
think, or act. For example, I can remember my relief when I realized I was an
introvert. How comforting it was to give myself the gift of time alone without
wondering if I were a freak of nature!
Know Yourself || how to know your self
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