CONTROL YOURSELF: DON'T MAKE A BAD SITUATION WORSE

Our emotional reactions are not determined by frustrations. It is our thoughts about frustrations. Our thoughts determine our feelings, our frustrations themselves do not. 

So far we've been almost entirely concerned with the waya we use our brains. We've tried to explain why some people don't think for themselves, thinking and what this can do to us. Many of you are perhaps prone to bouts of depression, anger or fear, and you may well think that this is something completely natural and something that "just happens" If so, it may well come as something of a surprise to learn that you can learn to control these neurotic emotions by using your brain. It isn't by any means eay, but it certainly can be done.

A neurotic emotion isn't something that 'just happens' it is something you give yourself which makes your situation worse. not better, but which once you've been taught how, can be avoided. But why is it you suffer these emotions? Is it because you aren't smart? Not usually. you make things worse because you've been trained to do so, and because you're imperfect and your brain has a way of going lazy on you so that clear thinking isn't usually the result.

CONTROLLING YOUR FEELINGS AND FRUSTRATIONS 

One of the most important facts you'll need to learn if you want to control your feelings is that frustrations are not the same as disturbances. Unless you make this distinction you'll give yourself endless stress, headaches, tantrums, or cad nerves .

GET RID OF IRRATIONAL IDEAS

To reduce or rid yourself of these painful conditions you need to train yourself to reject these irrational ideas, to question their soundness so completely that you no longer think they make sense, that requires hard work and practice and lots of it. All of this sounds simple to explain but don't think for one moment that it's all that easy to talk yourself out of disturbances when you've probably been practising the habit of upsetting yourself ever since you were a child.

CONTROL YOURSELF: DON'T MAKE A BAD SITUATION WORSE

Irrational idea

Emotional disturbance and human unhappiness are caused by the events in our lives and this leaves us with little or no control over our disturbances. people, in other words, make us depressed, angry, jealous, etc. If we want to get rid of these emotional pains we must get others to stop treating us so badly

Rational Analysis

No one upsets you but yourself. People frustrate you. You disturb yourself. By talking ourselves into believing that our disturbances come from outside we can readily blame everyone and anyone for our emotional sufferings. It's about time we were honest and admitted the truth- that we talk ourselves into getting upset one dady and talk ourselves out of being upset the next. We are in charge of our emotions. If we're rational with ourselves we're in good shape. If we're irrational, we're in trouble.

CONTROL YOURSELF: DON'T MAKE A BAD SITUATION WORSE

Never Hate Yourself.

If you do not want to get depressed again, practically for the rest of your life, then  never hate yourself again. You do not have to be without fault to be an acceptable person. Always separate your behaviour from yourself and acknowledge the fact that you are guilty of an error or some misconduct without at the same time hating yourself. Whatever the behaviour, unless you do this you will feel guilty, inferior and depressed, without fail. 

Don't Feel Hurt.

The world is often cruel and people are often unjust. Our greatest efforts are frequently left unappreciated. It is not uncommon to allow such inconsiderate . events to hurt our feelings. The depression in this case is caused by self-pity. Whether you put yourself out greatly for someone and the favour waas never returned,

Show compassion, Not Pity.

To feel concern and compassion for another person's suffering is the mark of civility. You are concerned over others, you care for and do favours for them, and you feel you are your brother's keeper. and so it should be. When things go wrong for those we care for, and for mankind in general, we are behaving in magnificent and mature ways when we show that we are interested beyond our own immediate concerns.